I get the sense your exhaustion and sadness has been alleviated a bit this weekend, but that you are also worried that the strength you are feeling is false as it’s only an effect of the pills. I would guess it’s a scary feeling to rely so much on the pills to give you a sense of calm in your life, and that it’s hard for you to feel in control of your thoughts and emotions.
I can hear how distrustful you are of your own emotions right now. It seems like you are grateful for the relief you get when your pills are working as they should, but that you are also feeling stuck with the suicidal thoughts and confused about how you can address them while you are on the pills. Are you worried that your thoughts of suicide will take you over? What have you been thinking lately when it comes to suicide?
Take care, Dan.
the Support Team