I get a sense you are absolutely devastated that, after months of dreaming of home, you have returned and found that so many things have changed for the worse. I would guess that the 8 months of verbal and emotional abuse were exhausting and soul-destroying enough, but now to add to it you’re stuck in a house that makes you want to crawl out of your own skin, and have no one left to turn to for support.
I can hear how hollow you feel now, without being able to enjoy things in your present or feel hope for your future. I imagine each day fills you with dread, and drags on forever. I’m really worried to think about how alone and hopeless you feel right now; I’m wondering whether suicide has been on your mind?
It sounds like you know some things you can try to feel better, but at the same time I can hear that they feel “fake” or like meaningless, trivial steps. Is there anything you’ve been able to do that gives you a genuine glimmer of relief?
Stay connected, Onemorestep, we’re here for you in your darkest moments.
the Support Team