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Depression/ loneliness

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    • January 3, 2013 at 6:10 am #18547
      Youthspace
      Moderator

      Hey Onemorestep,

      I get a sense you are absolutely devastated that, after months of dreaming of home, you have returned and found that so many things have changed for the worse. I would guess that the 8 months of verbal and emotional abuse were exhausting and soul-destroying enough, but now to add to it you’re stuck in a house that makes you want to crawl out of your own skin, and have no one left to turn to for support.

      I can hear how hollow you feel now, without being able to enjoy things in your present or feel hope for your future. I imagine each day fills you with dread, and drags on forever. I’m really worried to think about how alone and hopeless you feel right now; I’m wondering whether suicide has been on your mind?

      It sounds like you know some things you can try to feel better, but at the same time I can hear that they feel “fake” or like meaningless, trivial steps. Is there anything you’ve been able to do that gives you a genuine glimmer of relief?

      Stay connected, Onemorestep, we’re here for you in your darkest moments. <3

      the Support Team

    • January 3, 2013 at 9:01 am #18549
      Onemorestep
      Member

      Thank you. thank you , thank you,
      Even reading that takes away the weight on my shoulders. It feels so good to be understood. You got everything spot on, i have had thoughts of suicide making the pain go away, but I know that will absolutely never happen. It scares me knowing my thoughts could even get that far.
      I feel like while I lay endlessly staring at the wall in my room that everything on the outside just forgot about me. I don’t know where I am in the world anymore. Mostly because I’m at the point where things stop being childish and become more adult. But the fact is, i feel like I was ripped away from my childhood and thrown back with nothing left.
      I know deep down that this is just a small part of my life and the people won’t even matter in the next 30years. And I keep telling myself that.
      I just can’t shake the feeling of being abandoned by my bestfriend. My life went from completely positive to negative.

    • January 6, 2013 at 2:31 am #18554
      Youthspace
      Moderator

      Onemorestep,
      I can hear the turmoil your heart is in right now. More than anything it seems like you are trying to understand the painful turn your life just took, and I’m so glad you have connected with us here.

      I think it’s beautiful that you try to console yourself…knowing that this is just a minor setback in the grand scheme of life…yet right now this grief is all-consuming. Your whole world shifted at the loss of your bestfriend. And on top of that you are occupying this strange inbetween land between childhood and adulthood. Does anyone else know how you are feeling right now?

      Sounds like you are really shocked and scared by way suicide presented itself as an option in your mind. Thank you for being honest with us about your intentions, I’m glad you are staying safe. I hope that if you ever DO feel the urge to act on these thoughts that you will call 911 or a crisis line (we can offer you resources if you want too).

      How are you taking care of yourself in this challenging time Onemorestep? I’m really glad you are sharing your pain here with us. We’d love to Chat too if you’re around between 6 and 11pm.

      Know that we are thinking of you
      <3 the Support Team

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