I hear you…it’s not a pleasant thought that evil could possibly be necessary. I agree that it often seems like we might do hurtful things to each other not because we intend harm, but because we have been hurt in the past, and might need help getting past that. Still, nobody really knows the answers to these ideas, as far as I know, and I think I can understand that feeling of being at a loss to understand some of the truly heartbreaking things that human beings do to other human beings. It’s a tough feeling to have, because there are not many ways to avoid human society. :S
It sounds like this feeling of being at odds with the corruption and pain that you see in society goes hand in hand with an innate desire you have to find solitude and peace, often in isolation. Kind of like you might naturally be somewhat withdrawn to begin with, and losing faith with society is making you want to withdraw even further. Correct me if I’m way off, but it sounds like as your discomfort with behaviour of the masses increases, your desire to interact with people goes down, and even when people in your life are dragging you along to “fun” things, there’s a part of you that feels like you’re not on the same wavelength, and is uncomfortable. I can imagine that it creates ongoing frustration and discomfort (kind of a social friction?) to feel like the unspoken judgment is that you might be more relaxed/healthy/whatever if you just adopt the ideas of fun that other people have. Do you think there’s a part of you that has trouble even wanting to belong (maybe especially lately) in a species or society that has so much pain and conflict?
We’re glad that you’re sharing your thoughts here.