May 30, 2014 at 12:42 am #16472DanielleMember
I’ve kind of lost faith with society. I look around in this world, and see hatred, greed, judgement, megalomania, blissful ignorance and convenient arrogance. I’m finding it hard to relate and find myself among this world, in fact, I don’t want to belong here. I’m not suicidal, don’t get me wrong, but I want to just get away, live far out in the woods somewhere by myself. I find more comfort and truth in a rock than I do people of my own species. I don’t understand it, I don’t understand my own species, my people. I don’t understand why people are so horrible to each other and to nature. It’s so simple to just love each other and be kind, but instead people make it complicated by taking from people and hurting them, killing them, using them. How do I live in this world? How can I?
June 1, 2014 at 2:26 am #19185YouthspaceModerator
Welcome to the Youthspace Forum, we’re glad you’re here. From what you’ve said, you strike me as a thoughtful, considerate and loving person.
It seems like, at times, all the hardship and the needless suffering you see in the world around you, becomes so painful and bewildering to you you want to escape it. I get the sense you’re longing for meaningful and compassionate contact and it sounds like you’re struggling to connect with people in the authentic and caring ways you’d like to.
You mentioned not knowing how to live in this world and I’d imagine you feel as if things are pretty futile and at the same time, it seems as though you are really searching for a way to find both meaning and happiness in your life.
If you want to keep sharing your reflections about your experiences, we are here to listen and talk with you. If you’re in Canada, you can also try out our chat service between 6pm-11pm PST.
June 2, 2014 at 10:27 pm #19187DanielleMember
I don’t hate the world, I just don’t understand it. Me not understanding the society in which I live in, is the most detrimental thing for me. People are just mean to each other, that’s something that I’m glad I’ll never understand. People say that there needs to be evil in this world, or else all balance will be lost, but I don’t want to believe that. I don’t want to believe that evil is necessary. I want to believe that evil isn’t necessarily evil, but that people just need help.
I spend a lot of time alone, especially in nature, I don’t enjoy most people’s company, I don’t like going to parties or get-togethers. The reason being 1 part my personality, and 2 parts my lack of trust and unwillingness to be extroverted. I’m not unhappy being alone, in fact, I’d prefer it, but lately people have been pressuring me to have fun, or at least what they consider is fun. People tell me to socialize, dance, drink, and in a way I agree that I should be more relaxed but I don’t know how. I always tell people that I don’t do fun. It’s not so much that I don’t know where to belong, more so that I don’t know how to belong.
June 4, 2014 at 6:20 am #19189YouthspaceModerator
I hear you…it’s not a pleasant thought that evil could possibly be necessary. I agree that it often seems like we might do hurtful things to each other not because we intend harm, but because we have been hurt in the past, and might need help getting past that. Still, nobody really knows the answers to these ideas, as far as I know, and I think I can understand that feeling of being at a loss to understand some of the truly heartbreaking things that human beings do to other human beings. It’s a tough feeling to have, because there are not many ways to avoid human society. :S
It sounds like this feeling of being at odds with the corruption and pain that you see in society goes hand in hand with an innate desire you have to find solitude and peace, often in isolation. Kind of like you might naturally be somewhat withdrawn to begin with, and losing faith with society is making you want to withdraw even further. Correct me if I’m way off, but it sounds like as your discomfort with behaviour of the masses increases, your desire to interact with people goes down, and even when people in your life are dragging you along to “fun” things, there’s a part of you that feels like you’re not on the same wavelength, and is uncomfortable. I can imagine that it creates ongoing frustration and discomfort (kind of a social friction?) to feel like the unspoken judgment is that you might be more relaxed/healthy/whatever if you just adopt the ideas of fun that other people have. Do you think there’s a part of you that has trouble even wanting to belong (maybe especially lately) in a species or society that has so much pain and conflict?
We’re glad that you’re sharing your thoughts here.
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