Hi Bri…it’s been a rough time, hey?
You might not feel as though it was, but I think that it was hugely brave of you to tell your parents how you were feeling. It sucks that they don’t really seem to know how to help. It must have been awful to go out on a limb, and then find that their response was to think about taking away one of the things that has been helping you cope. That’s not good.
It’s scary to hear that on Tuesday you were left alone, and had to sit by yourself with the feelings and thoughts that were making you want to end your life. It really illustrates for me what you mean when you say that you regret telling your parents. Knowing that you are feeling suicidal, you must have been hoping that your mom would show concern by not leaving you alone. When she didn’t, you must have felt deserted and saddened, which can’t have helped at all…
At this point, hiding behind the mask again must seem like a defense against things like that that just add to the pain…something you can’t afford if you’re already struggling to find reasons to keep living. I get that. I’m curious…..what kind of support do you think you would have liked from your parents?
And how do you think you might be able to cope until the next show starts? Are you still able to try the other chat services if things feel really unbearable in the moment?
Feel free to talk it out here as much as you need to.
-The Support Team