It feels like my heart is going to explode out of my chest. I have absolutely no control over my mind. When I am home and finally relaxed after the day it is like I slowly melt and everything floods out of me all at once and it is an overwhelming rush of emotions. I feel everything all at once and it is like an assault on all my senses and a negative thought overload. Every horrible thing I can think of or feel about myself I feel in that moment. It is pure hate and anger and I just cry myself to sleep because I am too much of a coward to make it stop. I have been trying to read something fun or studying when it hits but it hits so hard that I can’t focus on anything but the emotions.

I just want to fade away.