It sounds like you are being overrun by emptiness. Like you came with a fire in your heart, and the suffering and frustration of being rejected again and again have slowly snuffed out the flame, leaving only questions and nothingness. I get the sense that you’re left wondering whether there was even a point to moving so far and trying to make a change.
It’s like you’re in the middle of a storm of loneliness, and it seems like no matter which way you look, people have drifted farther away… On top of the feelings of isolation, I can hear so much sorrow around having lost your friend, someone who you feel such a deep connection with. There’s a bittersweet quality to your words…am I correct in hearing that you’re grieving the loss of their presence in your life, but that you’re strengthened by the connection that you know was there, even if it was interrupted by struggles?
In some ways, you sound resigned to having people turn their backs on you, and it almost sounds like you expect the loneliness that you’re feeling. I’m wondering how you’re coping with the feelings of isolation and nothingness? I can only imagine how weary you must feel if this is a place you’ve been before, and are feeling like you can’t escape from the defeat and feeling of being left alone again…
Stay connected, Dashingdaisy. We’re here to listen to the pain.
The Support Team