Thanks for reaching out here and telling us your story. It sounds like you’re getting tired of having to tell it again and again and not really finding anyone who’s willing to help you.
Looking for an answer seems like it’s wearing you down. It sounds like you feel like you’re standing on a table shouting, and everyone is just walking by as if nothing was happening at all. It’s scary to think that you’re feeling so ignored that you would consider threatening suicide just to get someone to TRULY hear how you’re struggling. I can definitely hear how REAL and frustrating this is for you, and how important it is to have someone listen. I wonder what you would tell people if they finally stopped to listen to you? What kind of help would you ask for? Is there anyone in the past who has helped you out?
We can’t tell you what to do here, but we can definitely listen to the feelings that you’re having and be a sounding board for any ideas that you do have. I know that you said that online stuff wasn’t working for you — let us know if you change your mind, and we can post some links for you, and maybe talk about some of the ideas that are on them?
This is tough stuff to deal with asdf, and even more difficult when you end up being so alone with it. I can imagine that the lack of support leaves you feeling devalued and intensely frustrated and angry. We’re definitely here for you, both on the forum and chat. There is also email counselling available on our website — it’s a bit slow (a few days between responses), but it gets you in contact with a professional counsellor.
The Support Team