First off: congratulations on getting accepted to college! After all the energy and hope that it sounds like you have put into your dream of getting into this program, that IS big news. We’re really happy for you. *high five*
I’m so sorry that it hasn’t been the celebration that it should be. I can hear how disappointing it was to have your parents respond with less-that-optimal enthusiasm. When they’re aware of how much this means to you, I can imagine that being told to “keep your options open” throws a shadow on the triumph. I can imagine that your ex’s lack of response was also incredibly hurtful. It must feel discouraging to hear nothing back from her when it wasn’t even a text related to you and her, but was about something that means so much to you. I wonder if it added to that overwhelming feeling of abandonment? You mention how much you trusted her, only to have that trust broken. Is it hard to think about trusting people right now, when nobody seems to be there when you need?
It sounds like it’s agonizing to think about having to wait a long time to talk to your ex again. There’s so much running through your mind that relates to her, I can imagine it feels at moments like your head is going to explode. It sounds like you’ll get a chance with rugby to get used to seeing her again more, but it still drags on you that she might not be willing to talk for a long time, especially when you’re left wondering how she might be feeling after everything that you two have gone through…
Martin, I really respect how hard you are working to find ways to work through the maze of disappointments and pain right now. I think it’s excellent that you recognize how helpful hockey has been, and how helpful things like playing sports and connecting with friends are for you (even if the friends seem to care less than you’d like…). We’re here for you too. Hang in there.
-The Support Team