Hey thank you for the response on me getting into the college
And yah I guess it hurt that she broke my trust, but I guess she was just looking out for me, which meant she cared about me at the time. I’m just scared that I’ve screwed things up so badly, and I won’t be able to fix things with her. Also I’m worried that she’ll find out about this site one day, and how I’ve been writing about my situation. She really didnt want me writing about anything that went on with us, but I felt like I needed to write about it, because it has been such a huge factor in all my feelings. Also knowing me, if we ever become friends again, I think I’ll have to tell her about this, just because I don’t want to keep this secret from her.
As for suicide……I haven’t been thinking about the actual way of doing it, but I’m always just feeling so worthless now, and I don’t see the point of living anymore, because I don’t feel valuable. So I’m worried that these feelings may lead to me thinking about suicide again. I want someone to talk to again, but the two people I’ve told have completely abandoned me, and I can’t afford for that to happen again. And hockey has been a good way out, but I’m worried that it will only last so long, and it’s just depressing to think that it’s the only thing that has kept me going, well along with the hope of rekindling at least a friendship with my ex