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#18640

Hey Youthspace,

Well Iike you said I’ve changed a lot from grade 8, and I’m honestly not sure what got me through it all. Just time, and I was giving the girl space but really it was more just avoiding her because of how embarrassed I was. I was also upset at myself because I knew that I’d just ruined a really good friendship.

As for my suicidal thoughts, I haven’t been making plans as much which I guess is good, but there’s just so many ways to do it, and I’m worried that one time I’ll be feeling really down, and a chance will be there to kill myself which scares me :( I’m a person that likes things planned out though, so I think that if I do go through with it, that it’ll be planned :/ I don’t think I can ever trust anyone again with this information. The two people I’ve told have left me completely, and it hurts even more, and I can’t stand for that to happen a third time. It was weird because the 2nd girl I told was really supportive the night I told her, but since then she never tried talking about it again. I know it’s a tough topic to discuss, but for her just to check up, and see how I was doing would have shown that she actually cared, but now it feels as if she doesn’t :(

For the girl I’ve trying to be helping, I would prefer just to talk with her because I know from personal experience that it hurts if people go off blabbing about it. But she was putting it on twitter so I’m not sure how much of a secret she wants it to be :/ I’d still rather just talk with her about it though, and I really hope that I can help get her through it all :)

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