Hi Martin Henrique,
I can hear devastating it was to lose that hope that your ex would forgive you and that you could move forward together… it sounds like it was such a huge blow. :’( I’m sensing that it led to that somewhat-solid footing you were balancing on to crumble away… and left you to spiral down into a really dark place. It worries me to hear how scared you are, and to hear that you’re feeling like the things you were clinging on to in order to stay alive are disappearing.
In reading your words, I’m sensing that a feeling of exhaustion is hanging so heavily over you, and I can only imagine how draining it is to feel like every day is tough and comes with pain… I’m guessing that the desire for an escape from the stress, pressures and pain could seem so strong. I’m worried about you, and I’m wondering how loud the thoughts of suicide are for you right now Martin?
That being said, I am really glad to hear that that girl is there to support you. I can hear that her concern and caring is bringing light to your life, and making it possible for you to see hope.
It’s not my place to tell you that you need to keep posting on here, but do know that we are here to talk about whatever is going on for you. No one deserves to be isolated with their pain, and even if you feel stuck and are feeling like there’s nothing new, you are still welcome to post or chat about what’s going on for you — in your life and in your mind.
We are here for you Martin, and care about you.
The Support Team.