Hey again…

Well after taking a brief leave I realized how happy I should be in life with everything going on this year. I was accepted into my dream program at my dream college, just last week I was one of 30 students selected to partake in a student reporter gig with a large television company in Canada, and well I’m graduating which should be cool.
I don’t want to go to grad though, I hate the thought if it, and really want to skip it no matter how weird that sounds. Tomorrow at school though we have some presenter coming to our school, and he’s doing some big anti bullying thing, and part of it includes suicide. Then 50 students were selected to stay afterwards and work in some workshop, and I’m worried I was picked because the councillor knows I was contemplating suicide, but I don’t know. Just this whole assembly has brought up the feelings of suicide again, and tonight I was spending time researching a way to kill myself.
The girl I told about this all has been awesome still, but I just don’t think her help is enough to get me through this.
Oh and a girl said she liked me the other week, but a few days after I told her I wasn’t interested (as nicely as I could) she informed me that I was really just a rebound from another guy she likes. So hey the past two girls who’ve liked me have just used me as a rebound…luckily I didn’t agree to date the new girl, or I would’ve ended up the same way I did with my first and last girlfriend. I just feel like a rebound guy now, and it sucks