I get the sense that you spend a lot of time watching and trying to understand the world, and that when you look at your life, as if you were outside of it, you see a guy who seems to have so much going right. And it’s hard then, to be in this place where you can see that, but you know that under the layers of accomplishment and success, there’s a deep agony of loneliness and grief. I can hear your frustration at not being able to emotionally feel what it seems like you ought to be able to feel.
What a huge relief and powerful gift to have found someone with whom you can be so open and honest…but on the other hand, it sounds like there’s a part of you that’s holding back because of her connection to your ex. I would imagine that it feel like every step you take has to be analyzed closely so that things don’t get weird. That must add to the stress and uncertainty immensely, and make you question whether you can really trust yourself to that support?
You’re still walking on the edge, hey? That’s a scary and delicate place to be, and I can totally understand why the supports that you have mean so much right now. It sounds like they are the only things holding you up, and it’s still barely enough. :’(
Sending love (and a virtual hug) your way,
-The Support Team