Good to hear from you again Martin.
It sounds like with everything keeping you occupied lately, you’ve been able to squeeze out slightly from under the heaviness that was weighing you down. Definitely cool that you did end up getting into rugby; is it fun?
Under the surface though, it sounds like there are rumbles that are making you wonder if an emotional earthquake is coming on… I get the sense that looking forward to grad is still something that doesn’t feel good at all, and it’s getting more ominous as the date approaches… It must be intimidating to think about approaching someone, especially when you feel like you’ll just get rejected. And it sounds like you’re feeling unwanted by the other people at your school too.. which just adds to the stress and worry about how grad will go? :'(
Thanks for letting us know how you’re doing right now, and for being honest about suicidal thoughts. We’re definitely “hear” to support you, however strong those feelings are.
The Support Team