I can really hear how your feelings of isolation get intensified when you think that you should be happy about grad. It must be really tough to see others so excited about grad when you are feeling so left out by different aspects of this event, like who will you go with, how will you get there…I’m thinking that hearing about other peoples’ plans makes you feel excluded. Seems like all these unknowns are overwhelming you, to the point where life and grad just seem totally disparaging…to the point that death looks like a viable way to avoid the potential pain caused by continuing to live…it scares me to think that you might not be around until grad Martin.
While you say you aren’t making any specific plans about ending your life, the thought is constantly on your mind. Are there times that these urges to end your life are lessened?
I get the sense that you are confused about your friends too, and unsure where to turn for support now that these 2 girls might not want to hear what you are thinking. I want to thank you for your courage in continuing to talk about your thoughts of suicide and all the challenges that life is throwing at you Martin. I do worry about you and hope that if your thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, you will reach out and find more support. Have you considered who you would contact if the thoughts become unbearable?
We are always here for you, in forum or in chat.
The Youthspace Team