So two things happened yesterday that are just keeping this downward spiral going. First my mom has been heckling me to invite a friend up to the mountain this Friday to go boarding, but I don’t like it when she forces me into something. Then I realized that the hockey draft for the hockey pool I’m in is supposed to be that day. I was about to tell my mom, but then I held back. Why not teach her that if he pushes me into things I’ll push right back? All the guys in my pool are from my school, an it could be a chance to form some friendships just like she wants. But instead I’m thinking of going up to the mountain with my mom and dad, and then when one of them erupts (which one will) ill bring up the hockey pool and say it was unfortunate that they forced me to come up to the mountain with them.
Then came the comment on twitter later. So I’m in grade 12, and my ex is in grade 10. I didn’t, and still don’t care about the age difference, but a lot of people make a big deal about it. Pretty much a comment was made directly to me on there last night, and it really hurt. When people said stuff about the age difference while we were dating I didn’t care, and her mom even asked me one time if people have me a hard time about dating a grade 12. I said it didn’t matter to me because my now ex made me happy, and the age didnt matter to me, and they were probably just jealous because of how happy I was.
But now these comments just hurt me because I’m not happy anymore, and it’s getting harder and harder to hold on.
My happiness blocked it out before, but now there is no happiness in my life to block it out.
I think if I can make it to ball hockey season I’ll be okay, but I’m afraid I’ll kill myself before that