Hey, so lately I’ve been having insane mood swings on my suicidal thoughts. One minute I’m super happy, and the next I’m depressed. Honestly I think the weather getting better is cheering me up, and this spring break has been a pleasant break from all the grad chat. I know when I’m back at school though, that the idea of grad will be everywhere, and I’m not sure how I’ll cope so the TV program I made it into ends Wesnesday when we all go on air, but the next day I have my first ball hockey practice. Really my television gig has kept me alive until now because I don’t want to let them down, and I think a similar thing will happen with me for ball hockey. That’s good because it lasts 2-3 months.
Talking to my ex is okay…but I’m really worried right now, because I told the cops about this one party and they called the kid, so it got shut down. I did that because my ex was supposed to go, and the party was going to be outta control, so I was just trying to protect her. I haven’t told anyone I called the cops, and I can’t or everyone at school will hate me. For the party, he told everyone about it, and told everyone to bring as many people, and booze as they could, thus I knew it’d be unsafe for my ex who I know likes to drink to a point where she doesn’t remember what happened the morning. I just shudder at the guys who would take advantage of her in that stage, and it’s just one party, but hopefully it helps for talking with her, she can really overreact to stuff, and it sucks because I’m scared of answering certain questions with how I really feel. My last few days have just been filed with ups and downs.