The mood swings sound really disorienting — to be one moment in a feeling of sadness and pain and then be whipped around to the other end and feel cheer and hope. It must just leave your mind reeling. And the unpredictability itself might be frightening; I can imagine it’s difficult to go through the days feeling like you can’t even trust your mind to stay on one emotional track. :S I can hear how grateful you are to have things, like the TV program and ball hockey, that help to balance out the heavier thoughts and the dread of grad.
It’s scary what you’ve got to say about the party that you reported. It sounds like it could have been a very risky place for your ex to be, and that you were super concerned for her. I’m hearing how ugly it felt to report, knowing that it would make life awful if people at school knew it was you…. Are you worried because of what your ex might say if she found out? I get the sense that you hold back sometimes when you’re talking to her because you’re scared of what might happen if you told everything…
Lots of ups and downs indeed, Martin; I can hear how tumultuous life feels. Stay connected; we’re here to listen as you navigate the bumpy road.
The Support Team