I don’t know who else I can tell I don’t want my parents to find out, because I don’t like it when they worry about me…
Suicide thoughts for today? Well I guess it’s become not so much “if” I’ll commit suicide, as “when” I’ll commit suicide. I hurt the people I care deeply about, and I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I guess it’s selfish to say, but I know the people I’ve told will be hurt by me dying, and I still want to die. They’ll be over me sooner or later I know, and I guess that’s all I can ask for. The scariest part, is this past girl I’ve liked, has said she’ll kill herself if I do too…I don’t think she will though, because from personal experience it’s a lot tougher to actually kill yourself, then it seems. I’ve been thinking about it since November, but I still haven’t had the guts to do it.
I guess my weekend was okay, I had my commencemt on Saturday, so apparently that means I’m officially graduated. It’s one thing I wanted to do before I died, so I guess there’s not much holding me back now. Then the next day we had a family BBQ with my family to celebrate the occasion, and it hurt to hear them all saying how proud they are, and how they can’t wait to see what I’ll do with my future. I just don’t know if my future will be much longer than a few weeks