hey well i am out of the hospital and i am not doing so great i am finding leaving my appartement a big trigger for me and just leaving my bed is trigering

i am sick of hospital and feel there is no help out there for me

suicide is more and more in my thoughts and it is very scary but that does not matter

iam finding eating is getting harder and harder again with bulimia i am having a hard time controling it

self harm is becoming hard once again i fell like i am useless because i am not succeding at anything i am trying to do.

i am finding it hard to care for myself again even brushing my teeth is a big chalenge for me
i have now turn to weed i have smoked up for the last 2 days i have been back home because it is the only thing keeping me mellowed out enough to deal with some aspect of life !!!

the demonds inside my head are more quite now they have me on anti pschichotics to help with the voices and the thing i see and talk to that apparently are not real and for my paranoia of people and things :'(

well i best be on my way to pick up my medication chow for now

grenouille :'(