From your first post, I get the sense that SH harm has been a part of your life for so long now that it seems difficult to think of living without it. It’s been a lengthy and extremely lonely struggle, hasn’t it? I’m hearing that it isn’t easy for you to think about telling people that you SH; maybe the possibility of being misunderstood is worse than trying to get through it alone…I’m wondering how you’re feeling about the suggestion that the person made that you seek help or treatment? Am I right in hearing that you don’t really like the idea? :S
From your second post, it sounds like your exhaustion and pain are reaching a breaking point. You said that suicide has been on your mind for a while, and there’s a feeling like you’re done with everything. My heart goes out to you, grenouille; I can hear how hopelessly dark and lost you’re feeling. :’( It sounds like you’re SO tired from fighting the pain that you want to curl up with the only thing that seems to help at all (SH) – and have the rest of the world disappear for a while. I’m wondering if suicide is becoming more of a reality than ever before for you?
We care for your safety and your life, grenouille19. I know this is a desperate time for you. We’re beside you as you fight through the pain.
The Support Team