March 2, 2013 at 3:42 am #16390Hullaballoo22Member
I guess I could have put this under “relationships”. You can move it if you want. :S
I feel like I’ll never fit in with the rest of everyone. Other people (especially other girls) in my grade always seem to be talking about dating and sex, in a way that makes me feel like a failure for not having any experince at all.. That’s the thing though: I don’t want to do any of that stuff. I kind of just want to have friends and feel included, but not have to go out with someone or drink or whatever. I feel like there has to be more to life than those things. I feel like the Pink song Raise Your Glass was written for me. Except it’s all wrong, because she makese it sound like there are lots of oddballs who just have to band together to make it…but I feel like the truth is that I’m all alone.
Idk what to think anymore.
March 6, 2013 at 8:50 pm #18666
Sounds like you’ve got alot on your mind these days.. I imagine you’re feeling pretty stuck. Wanting to reach out and form these relationships, wanting to feel included and part of it all.. yet at the same time the activities that most of the people around you are partaking in and talking about (ie sex, drinking etc) are not experiences that appeal to you at all. I have a vision of you screaming to the sky in frustration, because there seems to be no answer. Do you bow to peer pressure and start doing these things that you don’t want to, or do you stick to your guns and continue to feel left out…
I can tell that your beliefs and convictions are very important to you. With the song, I picture you on the verge of feeling powerful in your ‘oddball’ness.. if only you could find other oddballs to rebel with. I suspect it might only add to your sense of loneliness, hearing a song that is supposed to pump you up to be who you are with the rest of the oddballs, but having it make you feel like you are the only one who feels that way..
I hear you searching for meaning and for connection… and I’m glad you have reached out to talk about this with us…have you been able to open up to anyone else in your life about these feelings of isolation?
The Support Team
March 7, 2013 at 8:07 am #18667Martin HenriqueMember
Hey Hullaballoo22, first off if you ever find a group that can have fun without drinking can you let me know so i can join in ? I’m in a similar situation, I’m graduating this year, but sex, and drinking don’t appeal to me at all. I had a gf but that just crashed and burned because I’m an awful boyfriend. I get how you feel alone though, everyday I go to school, and talk with people, and they may call themselves my friends, but I’ve never connected with someone enough to call them a real friend, or actually have anyone constantly include me in on hanging out with them. Just know you’re not alone in the search to finding that sense of belonging
March 8, 2013 at 12:43 am #18669Hullaballoo22Member
Thanks Martin. When I find that group, you’ll be the first I invite. I’m feeling a bit better. I’ve been writing lots in my journal, which always helps, and taking lots of walks just to think about things.
I do feel stuck. It’s like there’s no winning. I do NOT want to drink and stuff, so I’m trying to tell myself that I can be happy being alone too…but it’s hard to feel like that’s true, especially when Im at school and everyone has their friend group. It’s like Martin says, there are so many people I see everyday, that I call friends, when they don’t know anything about me, and their definitely not the oddballs that I’m looking for. I’ve told my cousin that I feel left out at school, but it’s not like she can do anything.
Thanks for talking to me guys. It’s really sweet to know that I can come here and vent!
March 9, 2013 at 1:04 am #18670Martin HenriqueMember
Oh yah this is an awesome place to vent heck I’ve been posting on this forum since back in early January!! And yah I felt the same about drinking, but I actually considered doing it on a few occasions, but I realized that I don’t want to drink everytime I get down because then I could become an alcoholic or whatever, and that would just lead to more problems
But hey good luck in everything Hullaballoo, and keep writing in those journals I was in a writing class at the time, so I was even wrong poetry about everything. There are tonnes of contests you can submit to for free and it feels awesome if anything gets accepted just another possible idea
March 12, 2013 at 10:38 pm #18679
It’s cool to hear that you’re liking this as a place to talk; that’s what we’re here for!
I can hear just how different you feel from all the people around you, like you’re speaking a different language altogether. There’s a sense in your words of deep frustration that everyone else seems to value a very opposite set of things from those which you consider important… You mention trying to be happy alone, and it gives me an idea of the conflict within you where you want to connect with people who you see everyday, but you don’t want to adopt the habits that seem to be a necessary part of that connection.
I am glad to hear that you’re looking after yourself so gently and finding ways to cope, such as journaling. I can imagine that writing is really cathartic for you…. A way to let off some of the steam, perhaps?
Stay strong Hullaballoo22. We’re here if you want to keep venting.
The Support Team
March 12, 2013 at 10:39 pm #18680
Also, thank you for sharing your perspective and ideas, Martin! It’s really creative to think of submitting writing to contests as a way to cope.
February 24, 2014 at 11:04 pm #19102BlueStarSeedofLoveMember
You are certainly NOT alone. As someone who has grown up in a small town I know exactly how you feel. I remember thinking to my self that life doesn’t make sense and that I most definitely don’t see the point of it. I felt like such an alien looking in on what other people seemed to think was so normal and natural…when to me it seemed so illogical and frankly just boring. I wondered what the point was. Well, I found my answers after being prompted to ask questions…like who am I and why am I here? And what I found I think will help you to make sense of things too…
there are some people who just aren’t ‘meant’ to fit in. This sounds like you. Though sometimes it does seem like there’s not many of us…there are more then what you know. We are just spread out. Stay strong and True with who you are and what you value deeply. It’s creating an example for others. Also, you will find others like you. That’s the beauty of social media these days. Keep your chin up and your heart open. You’ll find what you’re looking for. With Deep Love & Gratitude, BlueStarSeedofLove
March 6, 2014 at 12:00 pm #19114AngelAcMember
This might be quite late heh but I just joined and trust me… I had alot of crap happen and regret cause I wanted to fit in. I never liked it- I was always bullied for being different and not wanting to get it on with half the school or dress half naked.. as a girl its hard to go around high school as a girl who just well wants to be different its like one look and everyone hates us. I only want one person for my life to understand me and you deserve friends who understand you I hope you find it and if no one likes you for who you are then tobad! You deserve great friends and i hope by now you have some or heck id be your friend !
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