June 20, 2014 at 3:48 pm #16476KryptonicIrisMember
I tried to talk to the support team before but i left the conversation. And every time that i try to post something on the forum, I always run out of words. But I’ve realized that maybe, i just need someone to listen..
I don’t usually talk to people about my feelings but,here:
I’m a new immigrant. I know it’s normal to have difficulties at first but, I don’t think that what I’m feeling right now is the same like of those other immigrants.
I’m shy and a very quiet person. In school, it’s really hard for me to make friends. Well, i just found a few but I always feel that they’re going to leave me alone one day because I’m really boring to be with. Sometimes, i feel like i don’t want to make friends at all. I just want to be alone because I’m afraid to be left alone someday.
I’m also having trouble in focusing on my studies. I’m losing my interest. Every time that i think about my home country, it always make me feel depressed.
I always think that, “I wouldn’t feel like this if i didn’t leave.” I can’t help but think about the things that i might be doing there if i’m not here.
But, going home doesn’t seem like the answer for me. A lot of things has already changed. I’m not even sure if I still have the same people that i used to have. There’s still a part of me that wants to stay where i am right now because, I really wanted to start my life again.
I want to change myself. I want to have more courage and confidence,i want to make a lot of new friends,but i just can’t do any of these..
I have a lot more to say but,i guess i’ll just keep it for the next time. And sorry for my grammatical errors if there’s any. I’m not really good in English.haha
Thank you for your time. Any advice or message will be much appreciated. Have a nice day!
June 22, 2014 at 4:31 am #19204YouthspaceModerator
Welcome and thank you for posting on our Forum. It takes a lot of bravery to express yourself so openly and honestly.
I can hear how frightening it is to start a new life in a new country. I can only imagine the stress and pressure that comes along with such a major change. I am guessing that a new start like that takes a lot out of a person. It sounds like you are feeling very alone here, despite the few friends that you have made. I imagine that it feels very unstable and scary to have people in your life but not to know how long they might stick around for. It makes me think that sometimes you feel more like a burden to these new friends and that if you aren’t fun enough that they might leave you to be by yourself. That sounds really stressful on top of everything else that comes along with immigration:(.
It seems that you are feeling homesick and are having a hard time to stay focused and interested with all the missing and sadness that you experience. I can hear that you are wondering what your life would be like now if you had not left and at times you are doubting if you made a good decision to leave. Although, it seems that moving back home is not an option for you either since so much change has already occurred here and there. It’s like you’re feeling without a home right now, not quite here nor there. I can really understand how you may not know where you belong at this point with all these difficult changes and emotions:(.
I hear your desire for more courage and confidence, and I imagine that with all the changes involved with moving to a different country to start a new life, you may be unsure of yourself at times. It seems that it would take a lot of courage and confidence to make such huge changes in your life and you have been so strong to make it happen but now you want to feel like you belong here, and it is testing your courage and confidence more than ever before.
I am wondering what you do to cope in times when you feel depressed? Please know that you are always welcome to chat in if you want someone to talk to. We are open every day 6-11pm PST.
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August 28, 2015 at 10:46 am #22529LostintherainParticipant
so i’m also an immigrant and i sorta know how u feel. I feel the same way. I moved here a year ago with my family. And I feel like I’ll never fit in here. I look different and i have a different culture. It’s so hard to make friends and i’m also very shy and quiet. And i am always worried people r judging me. And i feel soo soo lonely. All my friend back in my country are moving on with lives and i feel so miserable. In school i am basically a nerd and i have made a few friends but ,like you, i am always scared they are just gonna ignore me or something… i just dont know what to do… i sometimes get soo sad for no apparent reason.
August 28, 2015 at 10:47 am #22531LostintherainParticipant
To add to the last thing:
Sometimes i just get these “things” where i lock myself in the bathroom ad cry for a long time. I dont even know why
August 28, 2015 at 8:39 pm #22538YouthspaceModerator
I can imagine carrying around feelings of being judged and being an outsider when you just want to belong can be so overwhelming. To move from a place where you feel at home and have a network of supports from friends and family and then move to a place where you fear doing something “wrong” and being more of an outsider can eat away at you, bringing on more feelings of isolation and loneliness. It seems like you have made some friends but being here does not feel like home yet. Like you could lose them at any time, similar to how you lost your previous friends.
It seems that similar to KryptonicIris, you are feeling a lot of pain and depression. I wonder, other than release anguish through crying, what you do in those moments when the pain gets high to help ease it a bit? (You are also welcome to come chat with us any evening, we are open 6 pm till 12am PST).
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