September 7, 2013 at 4:20 am #16422BusybeeMember
where to start, where to start. well for the last while my emotions have been all over the place. I’ll be having a great day but out of nowhere my mood will plummet. i have a hard time concentrating on stuff, there are times where i cant seem to fall asleep and stay up to a couple days at a time, there are time where i look in the mirror then not eat that day and then only eat one or two meals a day unless i’m around family then i’ll eat more or i’ll do the complete opposite and eat too much because i don’t like what i see. i have so much that has been going on since before last september and now that i’m in my second year of college. i tend to spend to much money too.
i have gone to more that on therapist and have had only 2 good ones where i truly believed they cared but the others i had bad experiences.
the last one i went to was through student services at the college i go to and i only went 2 or 3 times, the last time i went i told her i wanted to find out who to talk to about there being a possibility of me being bipolar but she gave me a notebook and said to keep track of my emotions over the summer and go back to her so she can say whether or not i fit the criteria and if there was any possibility but i’m not going to bother going back to her i didn’t feel that she was really all that interested in what i was talking about.
but i have been trying to find out as much as i can about bipolar disorder and even purposely did a presentation last semester on bipolar disorder. i started looking into it more and the more information i get on it the more it seems possible that i may very well be bipolar. so now that that i have information i don’t know what to do, i don’t really know who i should talk to because i have a hard time explaining things/opening up to people and trusting people
September 9, 2013 at 2:04 am #18847YouthspaceModerator
Sounds like you are really worried about what’s been going on for you lately, and that you’re feeling shaken by how out of control your emotions, sleep, and eating habits have become. I would guess that it’s stressful going into a new school year with the added challenges of what is going on in your body and mind right now. Have these changes been going on for a while now, or are they hitting you all of a sudden?
I get the sense that arming yourself with knowledge about bipolar disorder made you feel a little less helpless as you began to recognize some of the symptoms in yourself and can potentially put a name to what you are going through. I would guess in some ways that makes this even more scary for you, not only to have to face the reality of what bipolar might mean for you but to have to face a doctor or psychiatrist to start the process of getting a diagnosis. It sounds like you have felt really let down by therapists in the past, which makes the thought of reaching out for help even harder to bear. I’m glad you’re taking some steps by talking about it here…I’m guessing there’s a big leap between posting anonymously on our forum and walking through the door of a therapist or doctor’s office though, hey? We unfortunately can’t give you a diagnosis or treatment here, but we can definitely provide a safe space to talk about your struggles and brainstorm with you some ideas of what to do next.
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