Forums Relationships Is it me or him?

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    • #16432

      Hey, so I have a friend, who I fell for. I eventually told him, but it was all good afterwards. We hung out like normal.
      But now I am wondering if I am expecting too much from him, or if he is just telling me to go away in a “cowardly” way (or a failed attempt at being polite by avoiding the issue). He doesn’t directly avoid me, but I feel like he is trying to be non-present around me, and I feel like he’s trying to make me angry with him sometimes (ex. flirting with a new acquaintance in front of me). Or he just doesn’t care.
      Really, my problem is do I just drop trying to be great friends (as in friends like we used to be)and be marginal friends, or should I just go away and stop trying, when I know it is emotionally taxing. We do have many mutual friends and an a few awkward incidents in our past. And he is not exactly innocent in my falling for him.
      I also know he won’t talk about this…

    • #18907

      You could just ask him straight up and watch how he acts
      You could also maybe look back on how he’s acted in the past with different situations and take a good look at his characteristics/personality which could probably help out a lot.

    • #18911

      Hey Scarlet Ohara…

      It sounds like you put yourself out there by telling this friend that you had fallen for him…I can hear how the vulnerability that you showed has you feeling really exposed now, and making you wonder what is going through his head. It sounds like an agonizing flurry of questions are whirling round inside of you right now. You’re totally uncertain about how he feels – and it’s hard to interpret what his actions mean. I would guess that there are moments when it’s hard to focus on anything but wondering, wondering about him. :(

      I can tell that he matters a lot to you still, and that you’re really looking for a way to clear things up so that you’re not always guessing about the state of your relationship with him…. It sounds complicated and really stressful. I can hear how at this point, you want just want something to happen – anything to be able to leave this limbo of uncertainty behind….

      We’re here to listen – feel free to use this space to talk through some of the confusion.

      The Support Team

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