Forums Sexual Health and Sexuality Religion and shagging.

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    • #22042

      So I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that gender isn’t a defining factor in what determines who (whom?) I find attractive… as a Catholic this is a pretty big problem as by and large they seem to feel that relationships boil down to one man and one woman..

      I like men
      I like women
      I like everything in between (so far anyway)

      According to my ‘beliefs’ that gets me a shiny ticket to a pretty shitty afterlife, so what do I do? Can I abandon my faith and not fear the consequences to be with whomever I find that special fulfillment with??

      Why is love every considered wrong? (Between consenting individuals at least…)

      I’m feeling really lost ;_;

    • #22046

      Hi surreal_realist

      I can see what a hard space you are in right now. On one hand you have discovered yourself, your love for both men and women and on the other hand your religion tells you this is wrong. I can see that both these aspects of you are important, and you are struggling to bring those parts of you together.

      I commend you on being open enough to explore this. I personally believe that everyone deserves to love and be loved. I cannot tell you what path to walk, you know yourself better than anyone. It is hard when your faith tells you that what you feel and who you are is wrong, and you don’t deserve to feel that pain. I can hear how you are stuck between your sexuality and your religion, making you feel lost on your path, not knowing what direction to turn.

      I can see the strong desire you have to live your life as you feel and do not want to have all the negativity that can come with some parts of your religion. We are here to chat with you and explore these feelings as you choose your path.


    • #22490

      Hey youthspace, thanks for that. it IS really frustrating, the social constraints can be a bit much too.. I feel I have all these things to explore but can only really explore one at a time.. (very carefully so the church doesn’t find out)

      I mean it’s not like there’s any rush I guess, but still..

      Maybe I should leave the church? My parents would lose their shit though…

    • #22496

      Hi Surreal_Realist

      I hear ya, it can be so frustrating to be confined by social pressure expectation. It seems like you are starting to find ways around the restrictive role that your family and church expect you to play – though cautiously so. You want to explore your sexuality and see where it will take you, but are limited for fear of social repercussions. I can imagine it’s scary to think you might cause conflict with your parents or the church by acting on your sexual desires. I hope you know that you deserve to feel safe to exploration your sexual orientation, and be accepted just as you are.

      If you are interested in reading more about what other people are going through in this sort of situation I would recommend Scarleteen – is one post that might resonate with you?

      Keep in touch. We’re here to support you in this process.


    • #22618

      Hi YS,

      Sorry it’s been so long since I last replied, those websites were pretty helpful. I decided to let my parents in on where I’ve been at, and everything went better than expected. They seem to figure that this is how god made me and that should be ok…

      So yay : )

      I mean, I’m still struggling a bit personally as it’s a really hard integration.. You grow up thinking all this religion stuff is really black and white.. But maybe it isn’t as black and white as I thought.

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