January 17, 2013 at 11:38 pm #16382butterfly17Member
Losing hope but saved by a text
I’m losing hope
It’s all just going dark
I’m fading more and more
Days go by one by one
Ever so slowly
Slipping into a dark hole
I *SI’d for the first time
That’s all I thought about
No more mind pain
Just physical pain
Starting to cry
It’s all coming back
The agonizing pain
The bullying, the taunting
The memories of your past
All coming back to you
So depressed you don’t know what to do
You think of ways to get out
Nothing comes to mind
Except the self-harm
You *SI again and again
Until there’s nothing left
You don’t know how to stop
Don’t know how to love yourself
To believe in yourself
Like you once did before
*SI is not enough
You start to throw up
Forcing yourself everyday
You hide it
Long sleeves and breath mints
You act happy, deep inside you’re not
No friends, nobody that cares
Thoughts of suicide come to mind
You want out now
You’re alone nobody home
You grab the first thing
That you see a bottle of pills
You write a letter telling everybody
I couldn’t handle the pain inside anymore
I grab the bottle, and that’s when it happened
A text message saying you are more
People do care people love you
You are beautiful, don’t do this
It made me take a second look on life
And that’s when I made the choice to get help
That day I told somebody I trusted
I turned my life around
Now I am helping others
*Edited by the Support Team for explicit content
January 20, 2013 at 6:19 am #18590DaniMember
you are more than the choices you make
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes
you are more
remember that, and i’m proud of you. you’ve been through a lot, we all have, and i’m impressed and happy to see you turning around and being positive.
and don’t worry if things don’t always go well, don’t worry if you have a bad day, or are tempted to hurt yourself again in anyway. it’s all a process, and it’s about taking it one step at a time, putting one foot in front of the other.
again, good job. remember this feeling, that there’s hope. it’s a good one.
January 21, 2013 at 1:41 am #18592YouthspaceModerator
Thanks for sharing your personal story here on Youthspace.
Through your words, I’m getting a sense of the depth of darkness that you were in before… it sounds like there was pain closing in from every direction, and for some time, suicide seemed like the only option to escape from it all. I’m so thankful that you received a text of love in that moment, and that you were able to keep fighting and to seek help. The fact that you’re here today, helping others who need to hear that message of love and support shows great courage and compassion.
I can hear so much strength in your words Butterfly17 — that strength is truly inspiring. I’m wondering how life has been for you lately? What sort of help did you get that supported you thru this battle?
Thank you for sharing your supportive heart hear. Your words seem full of wisdom and experience, and I can only imagine what you have been thru to come to a place where you want to help others thru challenging moments. Know that your contributions are appreciated, more than I can say
Know too that we’re here to support you, or if you’re worried about someone in your life — both on chat and on the forum.
The Support Team.
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