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    • May 31, 2013 at 6:26 am #16405
      icemonster
      Member

      Over the past few years I have dealt with basically a deep depression. I ended up seeing a doctor and a therapist about it on a regular basis and still to this day I see them. Unfortunately, I am turning 19 in the fall and I wont be able to meet with them because I legally become an adult. I am really scared because although it seems like I have recovered, I still struggle. I have bipolar and I tend to have a really erratic nature. I tent to consider suicide as an option when I have highs as well as when I have lows which affects my sense of security. Basically I am afraid of my moods and how drastically they affect me and how I know I wont have the same support that I have had for the past few years. I dont have a good support system outside of my doctor and it scares me that my emotions are so strong.

    • June 3, 2013 at 4:25 am #18782
      Youthspace
      Moderator

      Hey there icemonster,

      I can hear from your post that life is listless for you right now…seems that your life is painted in melancholy. I can really hear your isolation, feeling like no one understands how badly you are struggling because you seem to have recovered. I’m imagining that while on the outside you are functioning, you still feel very susceptible to the roller coaster ride of bipolar. I can only imagine how vulnerable you feel to these moods and the affect they have on you and your life :S Thank you for opening up to us about your fear of the future and what turning 19yrs will mean for you. What/who do you usually turn to when you’re feeling unstable?

      Sounds like suicide has been an option for you in the past, perhaps death presents itself as an alternative to these extreme states of high/low. I’m wondering, is suicide on your mind tonight? I hope you know that we can support you via Chat (6-11pm PST) too.

      What sorts of strong emotions are you feeling right now? I hope you continue to connect with us, and add us to your support system.

      Here for you,
      <3 the Support Team

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