no i have no support no more i am on a bunch of different wait list just siting here waiting i got an appointment with a new psychiatrist on the 15 of November but that is still 14 more days of living with it i just hope he does not put me in hospital i hate them.i feel all alone like people would never believe me i just am so lost right now

grenouille

your right i am stuck in the mud feeling alone with no one to care and no understanding the voices and hallucination are bad and i can not focus at i am stuck living off mister noodles no money i cant put together what to do anymore sadness takes me hopelessness helplessnes

ill stop being a burden

grenouille

hey

so i begin by saying the cops found me and took me down to the hospital i swore i never go back it has helped me by what over medicating me oh well shitty life i got out not too long ago and i am back in school still alive but hoping different i do have better coping skills now tho and i know how to deal with things better. my dogs are a big part of my life and i would have nothing without them well sorry for being a bother just though i would give a quick update

grenouille

Well sorry that i have not sent anything in a while i have been in a deep depression and havent gotten the strenght to go on the computer …. Welll here it is i am just out of control i am useless wortrhless hopeless helpless little fucker i hate myself and that is that..

I wish i understood what goes on in my head a little better i wish i did not hear voices and that i was able to control the self harm better and all i wish all that was happening now but it is not

hey well i am out of the hospital and i am not doing so great i am finding leaving my appartement a big trigger for me and just leaving my bed is trigering

i am sick of hospital and feel there is no help out there for me

suicide is more and more in my thoughts and it is very scary but that does not matter

iam finding eating is getting harder and harder again with bulimia i am having a hard time controling it

self harm is becoming hard once again i fell like i am useless because i am not succeding at anything i am trying to do.

i am finding it hard to care for myself again even brushing my teeth is a big chalenge for me
i have now turn to weed i have smoked up for the last 2 days i have been back home because it is the only thing keeping me mellowed out enough to deal with some aspect of life !!!

the demonds inside my head are more quite now they have me on anti pschichotics to help with the voices and the thing i see and talk to that apparently are not real and for my paranoia of people and things :'(

well i best be on my way to pick up my medication chow for now

grenouille :'(

i feel like i am hanging by a thread to life.i feel dead already i feel like my existance does not matter and i feel invisible like even though there is people around they do not see me. i feel so hopeless, dumb, useless, worthless. i almost feel like just letting go without a fight

because i live in a small town they sent me away and did not want to help me help myself so now i am aiting to get into treatment i want to stop hearing voices and being paranoid and allso stop self harming

grenouille

Hi again well there plan worked last night i ended up in the hospital still there know they are still deciding wheather or not to send me to the mental health institution since my small town does not have one it is very lonely in here and i do not like this at all but i know i need help i went really deep yesterday the paramedics had to come get me talk to you guys when i get out since if i get shiped away i will not have acces to my phone. Grenouille