Hey,

I am sorry for not replying right away. We ended up getting back together but things have not been the same. Like I can’t relax, I can’t trust him. I want to forgive him but one part of me just won’t let it go. It’s like he stabbed me through the heart * and the wound won’t heal. I am damaged now. Our love is damaged now. And I am so scared that if I tell him how I really feel, he’ll just leave me again. I thought if we got back together it would all be perfect but it’s like some alternate reality, where we are not the same people, we’re the ghosts of who we were. I want it to go back to normal. I want us to be what we were.

He’s graduating this year (We’re both at * the same university) but I am not and part of me knows that it is all going to be over then anyway. I think once he moves away, he’ll break up with me. But I am not sure I can go through that again. I think I would die.

*Edited by Youthspace for potentially triggering content  and identifying information