I don’t know if I’ve really found anything that lessens the weight on my shoulders. When I feel alright I have my friends, and that takes my mind off of it, but once I’m in the midst of a panic attack there’s really nothing I can do but wait it out. I’ll have people around me to help, but even then it doesn’t go away. It’s like, I know all of these breathing exercises and I know you should think positively and I can vent to people, but there’s still all this pain and it doesn’t go away. Nothing makes it go away, I just suffer through it until it starts to lighten by itself. I don’t know why or how and it’s so frustrating, because it lasts for days at a time and I feel so horrible and sick and depressed.
It’s those times when I really wish I could end it. And it really isn’t an option for me, but that just makes it even worse because I know I can’t do it and sometimes I wish I could so bad. I can’t do anything to end it, I just have to sit through it, and that’s the worst.