You seem to be suffering from some pettry severe depression. I’m guessing by the parent comment that you are under 18? It really is important that you talk to someone about this, especially if you’re resorting to physically harming yourself. I really suggest sitting down and telling all of this to your parents, and if they aren’t supportive and willing to help you seek medical help, then see if there are any clinics in your area that charge based on income. In most fairly well populated areas, the help is out there, you just have to be willing to look for it. Even your school counselor could help.And while it may be difficult talking to someone about all this, especially a stranger, realize that there is a reason these people have the jobs they do, because they want to help people and they have heard it all before.You’ve taken a good first step by asking for help on here, now you’ve just got to seek it out.