Forum Replies Created
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I imagine it is really scary to be so cut off from your boyfriend, and that you’re feeling hurt that he is not replying to your emails after he said he would. We heard from another forum user in the General Support board with a similar name to yours, Zelda Hyrule, I’m wondering if that is also you? If so, we would like to keep supporting you in a single thread if possible, so I’ll redirect you back to the “Mixed Feelings” post for support with this issue. Thanks for respecting our limits; I am glad you are reaching out and I hope we continue to hear from you as you need us
The Support Team
Hey Zelda Hyrule,
I am really sorry to hear you’re feeling so down. I can imagine how not hearing from your boyfriend after he promised he’d keep emailing you is just eating away at you. I am getting the sense you’re worried that he’s withdrawing from you completely during this break. I’d imagine not knowing if he still wants to continue the relationship again on your birthday like he said really weighs on your mind and leaves you scared of facing a future feeling as lonely as you do right now. You mentioned you’ve got mixed feelings and that you’re not sure what you should do and I am wondering what options you’ve been considering?
The Support TeamHey Dan,
I get the sense that Dan Day, as much as it sounds like a day just for you, is not something that you are looking forward to
. It seems as though it is a reminder of your 10 year struggle and the difficult journey of pain that it has been.10 years is a long time to be fighting Dan. You have really come a long way through your voyage. I am wondering, what has kept you “fighting the same war” for all these years? What has kept you going all this time?
It is remarkable that you have been so strong and able to reach out for help when you need it. Don’t stop reaching Dan, your perseverance is an inspiration.
Please remember that we are always here for you when you need support through the battles.
With lots of love to get you through,
The Support Team
Hey Dan,
Your last post really shows the heartbreak and loneliness that this season is bringing for you. I’m so sorry to hear that you are feeling such an intense dread of the new year, and that things are so low for you right now. Another year must seem like another cycle of the same pain for you right now.
It sounds like on top of the sadness that the Christmas season brings, there’s another layer of loneliness with the person you talk to being gone and your brothers both being romantically involved. You say you’re lost, and the image that comes to mind is a boat in a fog, unable to see the lighthouse or find a way to land. It sounds like you feel stuck in a void where nobody seems to be able to see you or your pain, and you can see the new year approaching, bringing a tidal wave of the same feelings….an extension of the same agonizing dan day.
I’m not sure what you mean by “it will happen 1 or 2 am on day 10”, and it worries me because it sounds like you feel a crisis looming over you… Know that when you feel deeper down than you have ever felt before, we will still be here for you, Dan.
Chat or post to the forum when you need to. We are here every night, and we’ll help you however we can.
-The Support TeamOh Dan,
It seems as though you are feeling incredibly lost without that one person you relied so much on for support, and on top of that at a time of year when you so desperately need the comfort of familiar, caring people around you. I would guess it’s terrifying to know that you will have to be brave for yourself on your own this year, and hard to trust that you have it in you to do so. I get the sense it is breaking your heart to face Christmas without that person there to talk to anymore
I am glad you are talking to us about it, and I hope you’ll continue to use us as support as long as you need it I can hear how excruciating it is to keep fighting, and how tempting it is to lay down your sword and give in to the beast in the darkness that represents your death by suicide. As hard as it is, I’m comforted to hear that at least a part of you wants to keep fighting. Do you have someone in your life you can contact right away in the darkest moments, when it feels to difficult to fight any more?
Sending you thoughts of strength and courage,
the Support TeamHi PhyscoTori. Welcome to the youthspace forum.
I’m glad that you posted here, and asked about self-harm. It’s something that a fair amount of people struggle with, but is still hard to talk about. It sounds like for you, it has been something that helps you deal with emotional pain from depression or from other people, but now it feels like it’s getting out of your control. I get the sense that the physical pain has helped to mask emotional pain in the past, and you like the feeling – but you’re afraid of what it means that you’re now having trouble stopping yourself. That loss of control must seem very frightening when you know that the wounds have the potential to keep getting worse. I can hear that you’re scared for yourself.
I get the sense that you really want some guidance on how you might be able to grapple with the urges you’re having before self-harm becomes dangerous to you. While we don’t give direct advice here, I can offer up some possible resources that you can take a look at (and obviously feel free to come back and talk about whether they were helpful). I *will* go so far as to say that if you find that you have harmed badly enough to need medical attention, that you should reach out to someone who can help you get the attention you need.
If you are interested in the resources I mentioned, you can take a look at this page: http://self-injury.net/information-recovery/recovery – it has some ideas about how to stop (or minimize) self-harming, and some suggestions for distractions. The whole site has a lot of info and support, actually. You can also check out this sheet for some ideas about how to distract yourself when you want to harm but don’t want to harm: http://www.nshn.co.uk/downloads/Distractions.pdf
Let us know how you’re doing, PhyscoTori, and whether those links are helpful. We’re here for you.
-The Support Team
Hi Dan,
I am hearing that you feel a bit hopeless about the fast approaching New Year. With Christmas almost here, it comes as no surprise that 2014 is on your mind. It probably feels really discouraging to bring in the New Year when you do not feel like you have the kind of support that you really need over the holidays. I guess you feel like it would be impossible to get the support you want if you think that you already have all the help you can get. I get the idea that thinking that you have all the help that is available to you, doesn’t leave you with much optimism for more options.
I get the sense that you are really sick of starting over with new people. Seems like on the one hand you feel like maybe there is hope that the new person will help in a way others couldn’t but on the other hand they might just bring you to the same place as the last one and then they are gone. It must be really frustrating for you to get to know someone and then they leave. Like you are always grieving the loss of someone
. It seems like you crave some consistency with the people in your life.It sounds like you are feeling like there is so much tension inside of you that is wanting to burst, and there is no way to explode and get release. I can imagine the helplessness that you feel is something that you want so badly to battle but you haven’t been able to find the right weapon to fight against it. I am wondering, if you could build the weapon against feeling helpless, what would it look like?
We are here for you Dan, in forum, chat and ecounselling. Please don’t hesitate anytime you need to talk.
With so much gratitude of the strength you show us all,
The Support Team
Dan,
I wish that I had a way to heal the pain, and to help you feel free in your life. The way you’ve described this “Dan day” shows in a powerful way how monotonously unchanging these feelings are for you. I know that the word “exhausting” is probably one of those things that has been said over and over, but I honestly can hardly imagine how tired — how exhausted — you are. I can hear how it seems impossible to find something to fight for anymore when all hope feels like it dried up long ago. And I know that the deaths you’ve experienced in this last year just add to the heavy, heavy feelings. :’(
It sounds like when you look back, you see a series of dark Christmases, and this one looks like it is going to feel darker than ever, and you can feel the pressure of that darkness building up. I can hear how you hurt so badly thinking of the last 11 years, and the endless pain they have brought – I can hear that it’s making you wonder if that pain will ever change, or if it will continue, and just feel worse and worse for years to come. You say that there have been occasional good days, Dan, but it sounds like the pain feels like a thick black line that covers up the thin writing of those better days. What do you think it might look like if things were ever to get better Dan? What has been keeping you alive in moments like this?
We’re here to help you, Dan. Please know that we are here for you on the forum and over chat, and that you can contact us to help you out if you feel like you are going to end your life.
The Support Team
