Forum Replies Created
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Hi Bri,
I’m really glad that you were able to come back and give us an update about what’s going on for you right now. It sounds like your circumstances haven’t shifted too much on the outside but that you’re using self-harm as a way to cope with everything in your life. It’s really scary to hear that self-harm might be a step in the direction of ending your life and I really want to invite you to keep visiting us here and on our nightly chat service (6-11pm PST) for more support.
I can hear that suicide is still definitely on your mind these days and that you haven’t been able to open up to your parents about those thoughts inside your head. We are here to support you through these dark times and to listen to whatever you need to say here. I can really sense how much you want your parents to recognize your pain through your scars, as if them noticing would tell you that they love and pay attention to you, and that maybe if they were to notice then something could begin to shift for you.
I wonder if there is anyone else in your life that you might share your scars with and open up to about what’s been going through your head about ending your life?
Take good care of yourself Bri and know that you are in our thoughts
The Support TeamHello Footprints,
It sounds as though you’re under a lot of pressure and your money worries are always weighing on your mind like a big black cloud that just won’t leave you alone. I’d imagine it would cause you a lot of anxiety and fear to think about not being able to pay all of April’s rent. I can hear how tired and fed up you are of having to cope with not having enough money to get by and how much you want to be free of the constant stress of not have enough money to pay for your life necessities. It seems like you’ve been resourceful and been working hard to try to make ends meet, and now you’re getting to the point where you don’t know how much longer you can keep going. I get the sense you feel as if you are in this alone and don’t have somewhere to turn to for support. I’d imagine that would feel very isolating and overwhelming – I’m really glad you reached out to talk about it all here.
It seems like your university essay is kind of the final straw. I get the sense that you’re feeling self-loathing and disappointment in yourself at not being able to juggle work, your financial stress and school and at the same time, it seems like you know that this a lot for one person to have to deal with. You said your OD was maybe a cry out for help, and I am wondering if your intention was to end your life, or to hurt yourself?
I am concerned about you, and want you to feel supported through these challenges. I really hope that you will contact 911 if you are feeling suicidal. If you are in Canada you can also reach out to our Chat volunteers at Youthspace.ca from 6pm-11pm PST for help, support and resources.
We’re here for you Footprints.
The Support TeamHi butterflybkg
Welcome to our Forum and thank you for sharing your story with us. I can hear how much you want to find a resolution and put an end to the abuse that you and your family have endured over the years. If at any point, you feel like your safety is threatened, please call 911.
I can imagine that you are really confused about how to proceed. I get the sense that you really care about your sister and would like to see her find the help she needs. It seems that you are also concerned about the rest of your family, and how your sister’s violence is impacting you and your parents. I imagine it’s really scary not knowing when your sister will erupt and hurt someone. I’m worried for your wellbeing, and I want you to know that you and your parents deserve to live a life without abuse.
It sounds like you’re open to exploring some options, and I’d like to help you find the right resources for your area. Did you have any specific options in mind? Conflict resolution, mediation, counseling are a few examples of the type of services that we can help you locate. Also, please feel free to Chat in any evening between 6:00pm-11:00pm PST. Sometimes it’s easier to work through this stuff when Chatting.
We are here for you and your family.
The Youthspace Team
Hi Nie,
We’ve responded to this and your other forum posts under your thread “Bulemia/EDNOS” in Physical Health, in order to streamline our conversation with you.
Glad you’re checking in, as always.
The Support TeamHi Nie,
We’ve responded to this and your other forum posts under your thread “Bulemia/EDNOS” in Physical Health, in order to streamline our conversation with you.
Glad you’re checking in, as always.
The Support TeamYou’re definitely not bothering us, Angelic. Often there are not a lot of places to talk, or we feel like we’re exhausting our supports, but please know that you are always welcome to share here.
It sounds like you are often racked with doubts, both within yourself and about your relationship. It seems from what you’ve said here that those two go together a lot. Perhaps some of the intensity of the protectiveness that you feel towards your boyfriend comes from a worry that you might not be “good enough” to be with him? You said that you sometimes wonder if you need to fix yourself or find someone better for him, and it sounds like you blame yourself when he is extra stressed out — that’s a lot of pressure to load on your shoulders. It sounds like you have a lot of self-doubt that is really hard to cope with, and you feel stretched thin when you see him interacting with other girls. I can imagine that having a lot of anxiety on top of that is also hard to cope with.
I can hear how much of a whirlwind it is inside your head…where you feel like you are trying your best to be positive and healthy, but you keep feeling like you are drawn back into depression. You clearly value your boyfriend as a support, even though it also sounds like sometimes he can be difficult to be around as well. I’m glad that you have someone there for you — It sounds like you are really intent on getting some of the anxiety and depression under control so you can focus on other parts of your life. Are there times when you feel more able to feel in control of those feelings than other times? I’m glad that you have drawing as an outlet — art can be a powerful thing, even if sometimes it feels like it’s barely keeping up with the waves of feelings.
Keep connected, Angelic.
-The Support TeamTerezi,
It’s good to hear from you again.I’m really glad to hear that you’re doing somewhat okay, even if things are really hurting and feeling lonely for you at the same time. I can hear how the surprise nature of your breakup was awful, since you were finally feeling somewhat comfortable with how things were going, and you weren’t expecting it to end so abruptly or soon.
On the upside, did it feel good to be making progress in some of the things that you were worrying about, like being able to trust your boyfriend? I would guess that perhaps it feels really bittersweet now to think that you had gotten to such a good point with him. I get the sense that the breakup was painful for both of you…that it was painful when he broke up with you over text, and then painful to see him in person after that. It sounds like you’re still feeling a lot of anger about how things went, and uncertainty about how to move on from what you had. Even though there are these other guys you like, your mind must still be lingering on so many of the things that your boyfriend said, and what he was in your life. Perhaps that’s why dating someone else feels weird right now?
That’s interesting, and a bit frightening, about seeing and hearing things occasionally. Let us know if you do feel like those moments are getting to a point where you feel pretty worried about them…or if you ever want to talk more about those experiences (either here or in the chat).
I think I get that feeling you’re having of wanting to withdraw from having to deal with people – you put a lot of energy into this relationship, and you must be exhausted from working through the feelings around the breakup.
I hope you’re taking care of yourself, Terezi. We’re here if you want to keep talking it out.
The Support TeamHi zarlzles329,
Welcome to the youthspace forum.
I can’t tell you whether you were being selfish or self-absorbed. That would be a judgment of you, and we really don’t do judgments here. I think you have to decide for yourself where that line might lie. I CAN say though, that it’s okay to have feelings like you were having. It’s okay to be anxious about what might happen if you are late showing up to someone’s event, and it’s okay to express those feelings. I’m sorry to hear that your mom got upset about you crying in the car. It sounds like it made you feel misunderstood. And I can hear that your stress was added to when she started talking about money issues and your dad’s jobs. I get the sense that what seemed like a small conflict became huge very quickly, and that it made you feel a great deal of guilt for being upset in the first place. That’s a lot to put on your own shoulders.
It sounds like with the way things are at home, you don’t feel like you have many supports for how you are feeling. I’m glad you came here to talk through that loneliness. As I said, I can’t tell you who is right or wrong, or make judgements, but I can hear and respect the feelings that you are having, and tell you that they are real and worth talking about (regardless of anyone else’s situation). We’re here if you want to keep talking about it.
The Support Team
Nie,
Sounds like you’re at the point of frustration with these feelings where protecting yourself from the feelings and avoiding them all-together seems your most viable option.I’m wondering if there are times in your life, maybe when you are with certain people, or doing certain activities when you are safe from these negative feelings?
We value your voice here Nie. Thank you for continuing to check in and share with us.
The Support TeamOh Terezi, I can hear that your break up was bitter sweet for you. I imagine it’s a relief for you to know that the worst has passed between you and him, and that you’ve come through on the other side feeling ok.
I would guess the dark side of this transition now is that you are lonely without a partner to rely on to always be there by your side. How have you been coping lately with all this change in your life?
We’re glad you’re checking in with us when you need to.
The Support Team
